Unknown Title: Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

            If I was brave, they would be gone. If they feared me, I would fear nothing. If I wasn’t desired, I would be happily left alone. If I was desired long before, I would have been happy in the first place.

            “That small word with such a big meaning,” I mumbled to myself.  It’s true, there are many definitions for the word if. However, for those who bothered to look in the dictionary, I’m talking about introducing a hypothetical situation, not expressing a polite request. It’s a little too late for me to consider to ‘express a request’. It’s most definitely to late for that now.

            I looked down at my journal entry on the word if, which was, of course, written in my old tattered journal. I furiously ripped the page out and violently closed the journal. I viscously shoved the crumbled piece of paper in my sweatshirt’s pocket and slammed my journal on the dark, puddled pavement. Wow, anger spasm.

            I just sat there in a dark brick alley, wind biting at my rosy cheeks. Out of boredom, I grabbed my tight black curls and braided them. Then, with a curious step, I took the crinkled piece of paper out of my pocket. I slowly flattened it out on the damp pavement and read.

            If, If, If… I take such pity on myself. Well, of course most people do, both positive and negative thinkers. I fall in between. The world is dark, but if everything is dark, how would one see? To make quoting clear, light can always be found in the dark, in other words, there is always good in evil.

            Please excuse my random logic.

            I slowly threw the back of my head on the filthy wall. I curled myself into a ball and shut my fierce, misty grey eyes.

            But they instantly fluttered open again after I felt and heard an intense rumbling in my stomach. I slowly untangled myself from my ball shaped position and got up equally as slow.

            I walked down the dark, colorless alley to the light coming through the gaping hole at the end of the dark pit.

            I walked out into the faded light and down the dirty, ugly, bland streets and crumby buildings. Building after building, block of pavement after block of pavement, step by step, until I finally stopped in front of the building. The building filled with the goods I desired.

            The bakery.

            I stood awkwardly outside the shop, not sure what to do. My eyes gazed at the pastries in the dusty, mud splattered window. I finally decided what action to take.

            I may seem like the average person, but everyone gets the wrong first impression. I got ready for my sneaky attack. I’m a gifted girl and a known criminal. I always get out of trouble, which I hoped you can see by now. I always get the best of everyone.